i don’t usually do this…normally, how people choose to raise their kids is really none of my concern…in fact i am all for people’s choices and freedom to make them…
as long as they aren’t hurting anyone else.
but we had an experience on a field trip w/ the Kid’s school today…
we live in hawai’i. i think you all know that by now. it’s hot here. while i, and the three girls assigned to me including my five year-old daughter, were toting pumpkins back from the field, a considerable hike, it was blazing hot under a cloudless sky. the kids had missed nap time, they were late having lunch, and thirsty. plus, they were allowed any pumpkin they wanted as long as they were willing to carry it themselves. these were not the happiest children i have ever been charged w/. my daughter was unusually whiney (or so i thought so), but so were the other girls. when she started crying that her pumpkin was too heavy, one of the other little girls said to me, “my mommy says [my kid] is a crybaby”.
what. the. fuck.
now, i try not to judge people.
and sometimes, when i am talking in private to my boyfriend, i may mention that some of the girls that my girl plays w/ are not the nicest…i may even have used bratty or something…but i NEVER bad mouth a kid in front of my own kid. adults are too harsh for kids to always understand. if my daughter complains that kids aren’t nice, or that they did something she didn’t like, i try to explain that kids aren’t always nice, and that she should try to keep being as nice as she can be. kind of a kill ‘em w/ kindness deal. i do not belittle the other children to my own. it isn’t my right. i also am always nice to that kid when i see them. i treat all the kids fairly. i don’t know what that kid is going through. while i could, off the top of my aching head, list about five quick things about MY child’s life that, IMHO, would entitle her to be a little whiney, i am not going to do that here. instead, i will tell you that for five years old, my kid has dealt w/, and still deals w/ a lot of shit. things that most adults don’t need to tolerate. she handles it all w/ a maturity that is far beyond her years. i will also say, and leave it at this…any kid that cares more if her mommy is feeling good enough to go on a field trip b/c she has had to hold mommy’s hand through a lot of pain that a chronic illness causes than if her hair is cute or not, is in my book allowed to cry once in a while.
i dare a parent to say to my face that my kid is a crybaby. i don’t hold it against that little girl. kids repeat what they hear b/c they often don’t know any better. they know that mommy or daddy said it, so it must be true. but that parent needs a lesson in sensitivity. my point, as if i need one, is that we as parents have a responsibility to our children to teach them how to treat other people. we need to teach a tolerance, b/c all to often we don’t know what other people are going through in their lives.
above all, we need to teach them that it isn’t ok to hurt other people…
even if their mommies do it.
