old enough to know…

run on over to the curvature and see this fabulous post.

Personally, I feel that if your daughter is pregnant and doesn’t tell you, you should probably be taking a stronger look at your relationship with your child than at the law. 

 parenting by honesty means exactly that.  it means being honest and forthcoming w/ your child from an early age.  when they ask you the tough questions, whether it be about the birds and the bees or about why they have to go to bed at 7:30 being honest in your answers beats making up something that will “protect their innocence” any day.  children are smarter than we give them credit for.  if we don’t give them the answers to their questions they are going to find a source for those answers.  i don’t know about you, readerland, but i would rather my Kid come to me for those answers than pick it up somewhere “out there”.  at least at home i can be sure that the information she is getting is accurate, and not clouded by federal money w/ strings attached or someone else’s severe religious right views. 

i also know that b/c i am willing to talk to her she is willing to talk to me.  not only does she ask me questions about everything, but she tells me everything…everything from what she ate for lunch today to what she talked about w/ what friend during snack time.  she tells me when she gets “point outs” at school, even though the school has a policy that protects the kids from “double jeopardy” (meaning that the school prefers to handle discipline issues and doesn’t want a child being punished a second time for the same offense…it works really well.  when there is a repeat offense that is consistent, they call the parent in, but only for a heads up.  they still prefer it to be handled by them…it’s all very progressive and teaches the kids personal responsibility…*love*).  it means that she talks to me b/c i have earned her trust…and that means she has earned mine. if she came to me for help, i would hope that i have the strength to offer it to her.  

if she came to me w/ questions about sex, i would want her armed w/ the knowledge that will keep her safe (where to get BC and how to use it properly, the difference b/t yes and enthusiastic consent, etc).  i want more than anything for her to have all the information to make the right (or wrong) choices for herself…i can’t be here to protect her forever…so i need to make sure she knows enough to protect herself…

and if she came to me w/ an unplanned pregnancy, i would do everything in my power to support her in any decision she made regarding it…whether she decided to carry the fetus or to abort it…i would hold her hand either way…and i would respect her privacy and keep her secret if she asked me to.  if she trusts me, she will come to me for help.

and i will give it to her free from the confines of a religious sects moral compass, b/c she will know, as i do, that a woman’s moral compass isn’t b/t her legs, and that sex ≠ ruined for life…

 these are things that tell me that i don’t need parental consent laws to keep my Kid safe…b/c i am working my ass off to make sure that she and i communicate…and so that she can trust me, and i her.  this is why her first sex education came from me, and why i will work to always answer her questions truthfully and accurately.she already knows it’s her body/her business and now i need to make sure that she has the knowledge to back it up.

keep your laws off of my body.  and keep them off of hers, too.

and parents, take it from Cara’s post.  passing laws taking away her rights isn’t going to help.  being her friend as well as her parent…hell being a parent means being her friend…is.

talk to your kids.