It’s just unnatural. Not one person. Not even tea. It’s ruining the reality for me.
And that is the most interesting thing I can think of to say about Twilight, chapters 11-13
Nothing happens for two whole chapters. And 13 is great for the fluff factor of anyone who is hanging on all this drippy “romance”. The use of scare quotes is intentional, as I still do not believe that this is romance, rather the beginnings of a tragic stalker/abusive disaster. I repeat, being followed and watched every moment of your life by your boyfriend and lying to your parents about it is not romantic. If your boyfriend is doing this you are being stalked by a very troubled young man.
Edward and Bella are “out” now. They can walk to classes together now and eat lunch together now and not scootch far away from each other in biology now. There are these painfully annoying expositions about video days in biology, and I remember those days of watching movies, but I never spent them painfully aware of the boyfriend next to me that I couldn’t touch. Wev. Certainly not my biggest complaint.
There is a very clear message of chastity here, a severe “no touchy” policy that feels forced and awkward. A teenager should never feel bad about choosing a chaste relationship, but as it is clear that Bella is written completely devoid of any unique personality traits outside of being completely fucking annoying and whiney and dangerously clumsy in order to be a blank slate in which to tuck yourself, then I think there should be some kind of indication that she is making a choice, or free to make one, not either being a) the gatekeeper, or b) gently guided by the hand of he who Knows What’s Best For Her. There should be some semblance that there is a range of possibilities including those choices. It shouldn’t be an either or situation. That is how life is.
Basically, Chapters 11, 12, and 13 are just a monotonous play by play of a little league game of four year olds, ya know, where you are lucky if they kids remember to run the right way around the bases, or run at all. Nothing. Happens. Not even in the infamous hilltop scene where we first discover Edward’s EVIL secret! That’s right, the reason he can’t be out in direct sunlight is b/c he SPARKLES in the sunlight. Like a glam rock vampire, baby. I am sorry, but the glam rocker thing was why I never finished reading The Vampire LeStat. I just couldn’t get through it. And I read all of Louis whiny ass blathering in a day and a half…I am digressing…
We are treated to a three day tour of Bella’s mind, ya know, the one that Edward is so pissed off that he can’t read for himself. It’s monotonous. It’s redundant. I could have done w/o it. I think it may have taken me about three pages to repeat the same classes again and again. We also get to see how defensive Bella gets when anyone questions her new relationship w/ the mysterious guy who seems a little possessive. Actually, I think the words that are used are “looks at you like you are something to eat”. Her reaction to the friend who cares about her that she really doesn’t give a shit about? She gets really pissed off and tells him to butt out. In fact, we never really find out if Mike cares for her as a friend or if he really is just jealous as she assumes, b/c she really doesn’t give a shit about the friends she was so sure she wouldn’t make. None of the friends matter, only this dreamy perfect alabaster and beautiful guy matters. Not even her father matters enough to tell the truth to. Every one is worth getting pissed off w/ or lying to for Edward’s sake, even if it could mean her own demise.
I do want to take just a moment to talk about something that is bothering me. Besides the obvious over use and abuse of the word “beautiful”, I am a little bothered by how many times it is used in conjunction w/ words like “white”, “alabaster”, “marble”, “pale”, and a slew of other words meant to remind us that a very very important point of Edward’s eternal beauty is is incredibly white skin. The way it gleams and glitters like white diamonds in the sun. I do not know enough about Meyer’s religious beliefs to comment intelligently, and I am hoping to research a little more b/f I read New Moon, but I am concerned that there is a mentality that white=beautiful, which leads me to worry that anything else isn’t worthy. I wouldn’t be so worried if I didn’t already know of the upcoming conflict (this incredible conflict, I can’t wait for some conflict that I read on t-shirts everywhere) b/t Edward and Jacob, whose name happens to be Black, who happens to be Native American, and knowing that authors rarely ever do anything on accident, I am concerned at the message that Meyer is putting out there about Natives and other POC. If white truly does = perfection beyond human comprehension, then what are we left to believe that she would have young adults believe about anyone who is not as pale as the moon?
I am sure that there is excitement of equal or lesser value awaiting me…