Two Parties

Kid came home this week w/ two invitations for the birthday parties of her year mates (one in her class, the other in one of the other 7 first grade classes).  I thought the extreme difference in the two invites was notable.

The first instructed all the guests to dress in their best “princess dress” (I am still not sure what that even means, really, we don’t have something “princess like” on hand, I am not going to spend money on that shit.  We have a nice school dress that she can wear I guess).  It is noted to be a “model and princess party”.  Oy.  I find parties like this confining to the imagination, and as a parent, frivolous (more than I think a birthday party is to begin w/).

The second is from a girl we met while we were still living in the Army’s Hotel here.  Her invitation invites us to come to the Arts and Crafts building (some Army bases have these, it seems) to make and paint your own pottery.  I thought this was a great idea, allowing the kids to get creative and a little messy.  They get to make something tangible and uniquely their own to take home.

I am sure I could say a lot about the concept of throwing a “model” or “princess” themed party for a bunch of little girls.  My head is so full right now of reasons why we should not hold up models as the ideal to strive for that I am sure I couldn’t choose one upon which to elaborate.  As far as princess goes there is myriad of reasons why I object to the idealization and glamorization of the pink-puke Disney crap.

What I will say is that I commend the parents (I have only met the second girl’s father b/c the mother was still in the States when we all arrived) of the second girl for this pottery making idea.  It’s cheap (you only cover a basic fee for materials), it’s expressive, and it helps the children reach into that place inside them where the magic happens.  The part of them that is creative and yearning to emerge, which I am convinced that all children possess if it is fostered well.  It’s also a little messy, which is for some reason delightful.

I am going to RSVP both parties, b/c I want The Kid to socialize w/ her new friends.  I won’t, however feel bad that the fact that I can not yet navigate the stairs to the pedestrian walkway b/t here and the military village might prevent me from actually taking her to the first party (the second I can take a cab from our house to).

How do other parents out there handle these issues?  How do we continue to foster our good progressive and feminist ideals to our children when we are bombarded w/ princess and model parties?

And what is the name of that really kick ass book about the princess who decided she didn’t need a stinky ol’ prince anyway?  That would make a great gift.  ;)  ETA:  Found it!  (And thanks to BFP for linking to Indiebound, and letting me know there was an Amazon alternative!)