Long story short:  I have a half sister on my biological father’s side (apparently, he doesn’t talk to any of his four children, so at least we all have that in common).  I also have two half brothers that I met once as a child, but I have just become acquainted with my sister.

She just started her first semester of college.  She is going into Nursing, with an emphasis on Hispanic Health and Human Services.  In a recent conversation I found out that she has all kinds of Proggy/Femmy tendencies (which is not surprising, knowing her mom), though I don’t know to what extent.  I want to send her a Feminist Big Sister Care Package, and I need some advice on what that should entail.  So, I am turning to you, internets.  What would you send in a Feminist Big Sister Care Package?

The Red Queen has already suggested The Hotheaded Paisan, which I haven’t read yet myself.

What else?

I believe that Sex Workers are human beings.  That pretty much sums up my feelings on the subject, but for anyone new and following along at home let me expound on that.

I believe that Sex Workers have a right to their own bodies.  Meaning, they alone should have the agency to determine what they do w/ it, and w/ whom.  So long as all parties involved are consenting adults it is none of my, nor anyone else’s business.

I believe that Sex Work is a valid line of work, and that those who work in the industry have a right to be treated w/ respect.  People who choose to work in the Sex Industry are making a living, sometimes the best way they know how.  I believe that we should repeal criminalization laws regarding voluntary sex work in order to protect the lives of people working in the Sex Industry.  I believe that this would be a first step in making health care and security available to Sex Workers, and allow us to focus more on dire crimes like trafficking and child prostitution, which would be illegal anyway, even if prostitution were legal everywhere.  It could put some women in more control of their lives, and help them to get things like insurance and retirement.

I believe that the criminalization of Sex Work puts more women at risk of bodily and mental harm.  I think that projects like nation-wide stings that are supposedly aimed at saving children are really about punishing women who have the audacity to be sexual.  It enforces a moral code of few onto many.  Criminalization can prevent Sex Workers who are abused, beaten, raped, or even killed from getting justice.  Fear of criminal action could prevent women already at risk from seeking help.  It also seems to overwhelmingly let people who are paying for services provided by Sex Worker off the hook, which seems hypocritical when we are arresting Sex Workers in huge numbers w/ the excuse that “it’s illegal!”.

Feel free to chime in w/ comments on Sex Workers’ rights.  This is a pretty basic post, since I am new to getting into the issues of Sex Workers’ rights.

I also want to thank everyone who commented in my last post on Sex Work w/ lots of information.

*This post is dated March 4th b/c I am not yet used to blogging from another time zone.  My apologies for the lateness, but it is technically March 3rd somewhere.

There is a channel here that broadcasts a lot of US shows on one ad free channel about mid-season on the Singapore time zone, and it started the newest season, of which I caught last season’s finale.  Good a time as ever, I supposed.

(Spoilers ahead)

Another character I genuinely always like, Warick, died.  He was gunned down in an alley by a crooked cop high up on the food chain, the Undersheriff.  A white guy in a suit, no less.  I was extremely disappointed to see the only PoC principle from the show murdered in such a gruesome manner.  It made me sad in a way that I can’t describe (and I am one of those people who shamelessly cries during TV shows).  I remember seeing Warick pull through a lot of personal trouble, a gambling problem, being framed for murder, and now he just finds out he has a child.  It just feels wrong.

As touching as it was to see “The Team” pull together, and to see Sara come back from wherever she went, I can’t help but be gravely disappointed in the decision to kill off the only lead PoC on the show.  I don’t know a lot of background or situation w/ the actors, but it just left a foul taste in my mouth.

Any one else see this?

Jada Pinkett Smith, as far as I know, goes by that full name.  She is always billed as such, and I always see her name in magazines linked to her just that way.  Whenever I am talking about movies or celebrities w/ someone and she comes up (which is a lot, since I kind of named The Kid after her), or if I see someone refer to her casually on a blog, people always seem to refer to her as “Will Smith’s wife” or “Jada Smith”.  I mean, I just wrote about this sort of thing the other day, but why the fuck can’t people seem to use the name that she obviously prefers?  She is a talented actress and intriguing person (and apparently a rocker!) apart from the fame of her husband.  She has done a lot on her own right, and successfully so.  A Google search for her comes up w/ “Pinkett Smith”.  Why do people have so much trouble using the name that she chooses to use for herself?

I haven’t written about what is going on w/ Gaza, Palestine and Israel.  I haven’t known what to say, b/c it isn’t as simple as it looks.  It isn’t as simple as the bigger guy beating up and brutalizing the smaller guy mindlessly.

What is happening in Gaza is horrific.  It sickens me to no end.  It is beyond tragic, and I can’t even come up w/ words to describe how incredibly wrong I feel it is.  I do not condone what is happening.  I hate war.  I think it is ugly, and while it may be necessary in some situations, I find that we tend to drag it out much longer than it is ever needed.

I believe deeply in non-violence.  Like bfp said in this post, I prefer to find a non violent way to approach things.  I believe that spanking teaches children that violence is acceptable when you can’t get your way.

But I also spent a good chunk of my life learning about war, how it works, why we do it, and mostly why I vehemently object to it.

I know things.

And there are two sides to every coin, and usually at least three sides to every story: ours, theirs, and in the middle somewhere the truth.

I have told people who have debated war w/ me that I know things.  I have talked to past instructors of mine for ways to answer their questions when they argue the point “B-b-b-but Bush lied about WMDs!!!1!”.  I was told to respond w/ 

“You’re wrong”.

I can’t tell you why or elaborate.  And I will understand if you don’t believe me, or think I am talking out of my ass.  I really don’t care.  It’s not my place or job or even right to explain these things to you.  Realize that it physically hurts me to know that I can defend President Mondo Fucko in something.  Sometimes truth hurts us that way.

It’s like back in the 80′s when Reagan decided that he needed to let the US know why we reacted to Russia the way we did.  He felt that we had a need to know (yes, I invoked Reagan, maybe it is my reformed Republican self talking).

We don’t now.

It’s the same here.

I know things.

And some of them you could know.

Some of them you don’t, but we don’t have a need.  Either w/ Iraq or w/ Gaza.

But I do know a thing or two about self preservation.  I also know that, like in the linked post above, when you watch your people die and suffer other unspeakable horrors, eventually something is going to snap.

I also know that if you poke a giant bear w/ a stick enough times eventually that bear is going to turn around and rip your throat out.  The same way that if you are being punched in the face on the playground repeatedly, even if you are bigger, if you keep getting punched, and it hurts and starts knocking out your teeth, you are eventually going to fight back to protect yourself.

It’s also not unlike a large dog who gets his ears yanked on by a child repeatedly.  He could ignore it for a while.  He might even move to another corner for his nap, or nip harmlessly as a warning, but eventually, if the ear yanking persists, that child is going to get bitten, b/c getting your ears yanked on fucking hurts.

It’s self preservation.

I do not for one second condone what Israel is doing.  I do not agree that it is OK to bomb and blow up people who may or may not be your enemy.  I cringe and cry and wonder what kind of a world we live in where this sort of thing can happen.

But I also understand it.  I understand that sometimes when you have been hit enough you are going to hit back.

And I know that Israel tried.  I know that they have ignore literally thousands of bombs and mortars and whatnot.  I know that they have tried to stay peaceful and hold on to the cease fire while their own children died.  It might not match up in percentages, but they are numbers of people all the same.  Innocent lives all the same.  I know that they wanted to find another way.

I know things.

I know that Gaza is a double victim here, their hand being forced by radical Hamas, and now being attacked by Israel.

I know that Palestine is not actually the antagonizer.

I also know that Hamas isn’t stupid.  What the hell does someone think is going to happen when they provoke a nation as fortified as Israel?  Has anyone been following along at home?  Israel has a pretty beefed up army, and I would have to think that this outcome had to been expected on some level.

The people of Gaza are victims.  That is clear.

I abhor violence, and anyone who knows me and reads this blog should know that.

But I can not blindly point at Israel and paint them as wholly an evil force.  It isn’t that simple.  The lives lost in Israel matter too.  When your people are threatened and killed you have a right to protect them.  That is what provoked us into World War II.  That is what set us off after Bin Laden.  When you are attacked on your own soil and your people die you fight back in an effort to protect.

Israel has the ability to be more careful about where they attack.  They are the bigger power, and w/ that comes the responsibility to know that they need to exercise that power more carefully.  Israel is not innocent here.  They also know better.

It isn’t as simple as it looks, even if it seems as if I am trying to make it simplistic.  Honestly, I am not quite ready to be back to blogging coherently, so I am open to discussion, but I do not have patience right now for hostility.  I realize that I have an unpopular opinion.  My google reader tells me so, so you can bet I will be moderating w/ a heavy hand.  If anyone wants to discuss this I will as I have time.  Discussion good, belligerence and douche-baggery bad.

And, no, I will not elaborate on the things I know.  Once in a while people have to accept that I might know something that their fancy educations didn’t teach them.  For good reason.

I mean it Shonda, I don’t like this whole dead Denny torturing Izzy thing…this had best be going somewhere…and soon!

Haven’t done one of these in a while, but I swear to twelve gods and nine hells that there had best be a good explanation for Izzy thinking she is actually having sex w/ Denny.

And for alienating Alex after all this time.

WTF?

The Shakesville threads are loading too slow for me.  Feel free to discuss here as well.

ENTERTAIN ME!

SEASON PREMIERE!

For all you mainlanders and beyond, I will not be interacting until I get to watch it!

But have at it!

This might be the best thing I have watched in a long time.

You can watch it now on Hulu.  It is full of win!

Thanks for whatshername for telling me about Hulu.  I swear I not only live on a rock but some days I live under one too!

You can also check out the Dr. Horrible website for the story.

*Update w/ commentary

After reading the discussion from Holly’s post at Feministe, and not being able to comment at whatshername’s place, I opted to dissect it right here.  

DO NOT READ FURTHER IF YOU HAVE NOT SEEN IT YET!!!1!Whedon is a friggin’ genius.  He has finally done what he has always seemed to want to and has created the “normal” girl.  She is the strong character b/c she does the right thing w/ the right motives for the right reasons.  She is nice and caring and wants to make an actual difference.  She gets in there and tries.

I read criticism where Whedon is criticized b/c this girl is weak, as in she doesn’t get anything done herself.  That is exactly the point.  She is overshadowed and silenced by the pissing contests of the men around her.  This is the reality that Joss sees for women.  Captain Hammer takes from her what she is trying to do.  He doesn’t stand beside her to accomplish what she sees needs to be done, he takes control and does it for her, to impress her.  It is, after all, all about the sex.  (Make no mistake, the hammer is his penis!)  Women are silenced and the work they do diminished b/c of the war games that men play.

Neil Patrick Harris’ Nice Guy™ is spot on.  He is so busy whining about how the cool guys always get the girl that he fails to take the opportunity to talk to her when she flirts w/ him.  You are meant to like him at first, if not through the whole thing (if you are not aware of the Nice Guy™ you probably will like him throughout the whole show, he is supposed to be sympathetic).  What I love about NPH is that he does the best Straight Guy caricature ever.  He always nails the “I am the epitome of what it means to be a heterosexual man” every time.  Dr. Horrible is too busy scheming and trying to find a way to “win” Penny that he misses all of the opportunities where she genuinely liked him b/c he was genuinely likable.  But, alas, the attention he paid her was all a game to get her to like him.  Now he and CH are playing the same game.

And that is what happened at the end.  Penny’s death is the direct result of a couple of children fighting over a toy until it breaks.  Now, we all know that Joss Whedon has the tendency sadistic fucking need to kill off truly good characters to show the consequences of the other characters.  You can almost always trace the death of a good person to the act of another in his world, a la Fred, or Tara, or Shepherd Book, or even Drogyn.  Just like when I talked about how he explored the consequences that Buffy’s world saving decision had on other people in ways she couldn’t have anticipated, I will point to you how Whedon clearly demonstrates that people die as a result of other people’s wars (think, Simon, River and all the people who died keeping them from the Alliance).  His point is always that good people die while other people play Masters of the Universe, and IRL, that is usually men in power.  That is what happened to Penny, a truly good character caught in a fight between men who were missing the point.

So bravo!  Whedon is a fucking genius again!

I open this thread for thoughtful discussion.  But rules of the Moderatrix apply.

Oh, and BTW, did anyone else catch how it could possibly have been a daydream of DH playing the whole thing out in his head?  In the very last second?